Who are you? The world will tell you, if you don't know it yourself Who are you? The world will tell you, if you don't know it yourself

2025-10-02 13:50:22 / IDE NGA NELI DEMI

Who are you? The world will tell you, if you don't know it yourself Who are

The world will ask you who you are, and if you don't know, the world will tell you.”
A quote often attributed to Carl Jung (I'm not sure about this), inspired me to write this text as soon as I read it.

The question that doesn't wait long

In my life as a psychiatrist and psychotherapist, I have heard this question in various forms: “Who am I?” Sometimes it is asked by a woman who has lived her whole life to be “someone’s daughter” or “someone’s wife.” Sometimes it is asked by a tired man who has never been himself, only “the strong man of the neighborhood,” the role assigned to him first by his family and then by the world. This question is never gentle. It is cutting, sometimes like a knife. And the world does not wait for your answer: if you do not speak, it puts a mask on your face.

Sticky mask

In therapy, the mask begins to appear as something harmless: a repetitive behavior, a word that is not yours or a smile that keeps you in suspense. But you soon realize that the mask is no longer just on your face, it is attached to your skin. And then a void is created. In therapy, I have seen eyes that light up for a moment, when a person realizes that they have lived their whole life with the identity that the world has given them, and along with that light, I have also seen the pain that this discovery brings.

Albania and distorted mirrors

In our country, this wound is even more acute. Our history has been a history of being labeled by others: dictatorships that told you who you should be, modern-day power that often puts you in a category to control you, emigration that gives you a new name, an identity that is not entirely yours. It is like always living in front of a distorted mirror. And sometimes, instead of asking “Who am I?”, you accept the version you see there.

The courage to be yourself

But this is also our greatest chance: not to remain prisoners of the mirror of the world. In my therapy room, I often think about how difficult this courage is: to take off the mask, to see your face, to accept the wounds, the fears, the history. But only there does freedom begin. Not the abstract freedom of political speeches, but the intimate freedom of the person who says: “This is me, with my light and my shadow.”

A personal reflection

Like everyone, I have often felt the pressure of the world to tell me who I am. Politics, public opinion, even the expectations of those around me. It is a daily battle to not let this voice become louder than my inner voice. And this battle, each of us can and must fight alone.

Perhaps there is no older question than the one that confronts us with the world and ourselves: “Who am I?”
At the end of the day, it is not a matter for philosophers, nor psychoanalysts, nor politicians. It is a matter for every person who looks in the mirror and asks themselves if what appears there is their own face or the mask that the world has given them. And perhaps the greatest courage is not having a complete answer, but not allowing others to give us a false one.

Happening now...

ideas